


Desperate Times Call For Desperate Measures (and by that I mean let's get drunk then fuck each other)

by adventuress_writes



Series: Dragon Age Smut [1]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Origins
Genre: Alistair is questioning his sexuality, Anal Sex, Andraste's flaming knickers, Drunk Sex, Everyone Is Gay, F/F, Foursome - F/F/M/M, Gay Sex, I'm Sorry, Lesbian Sex, M/M, Multi, Oral Sex, Orzammar, Post-Coital Cuddling, Tapster's Tavern, alright well i'm just gonna slowly back away and see what happens, cock is just one of those things, drinking a driving... my dick into your ass, hopefully more Dragon Age fics to come!, i thought it was funny so i'm leaving it there, i will not suck your cocks, lesbian with a battleaxe, sorry completely disregard the last tag, this is another one that i decided to post on an impulse, two elves one cup
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-04
Updated: 2018-01-04
Packaged: 2018-11-23 04:12:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,309
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11395098
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/adventuress_writes/pseuds/adventuress_writes
Summary: While in Orzammar and just after winning the Proving, a few of the companions decide to celebrate the victory with a few cups of ale. But when a stranger and soon to be good friend shows up, a few drinks turn into a lot of drinks and questionable decisions.





	1. After the Proving

“AND THE WINNER IS … THE GREY WARDEN!” applause, shouts, and praise sang like a melody in Gilliriel’s pointed ears. She couldn’t help but grin at the recognition she was receiving, she swelled with pride. She looked to the faces of the three companions she was allowed to take into the ring the final round: Leliana, Alistair, and Wynne, their faces bright and smiling as well. Leliana glanced at Gilliriel and she responded with a nod and a wink, then turned away. She knew Leliana was melting behind in her uncomfortable boots, her heart fluttering just by the very attention the elven woman gave her.

The announcer gave the signal for the champions to exit the ring as their medics hauled away the dwarven competitors, groaning in agony from their wounds. The four winners met up with the rest of their comrades just outside the tournament ring, waiting for their friends. They congratulated the victors of the tournament, a few of them just glad that the whole thing was over so they could move on and fight more darkspawn. The next day they had an expedition into the deep roads planned and they figured they would need all the rest they could get. Although celebration was in order, because alas, the Proving was not easy and defeating all opponents required great strength and cunning. It was Zevran who suggested they celebrate at Tapster’s and he was a little disappointed when only Alistair, Leliana, and Gilliriel agreed to meet at the tavern for drinks. The others not coming gave excuses: Morrigan wanted to study her mother’s grimoire, Sten and Wynne needed rest, and they weren’t about to take their hound drinking, so it was just the four of them.

They suspected it was sunset above ground by the time Gilliriel, Zevran, Leliana, and Alistair reached Tapster’s Tavern. They wasted no time in ordering drinks and finding a nice corner table in the back to sit at. They hadn’t even received their steins of dwarven ale when a dwarf, who was clearly already buzzed came up to their table and sat down. He didn’t say anything, he just sat on the stone bench next to Gilliriel with his cup of ale and took a huge swig. The four friends stared at him strangely, as he downed his whole stein of ale in that one sitting.

He belched then said, “You know, I was sitting across the tavern and I could spot a group of sexually frustrated teenagers anywhere,” He pointed to an empty seat across the tavern where they presumed he was sitting.

The four looked between each other then burst out in laughter, Leliana spoke first after she was able to control her chortling, “We’re not teenagers!”

They all laughed even harder, they didn’t even have any ale in their systems yet.

“You got the sexually frustrated part, right, though,” Alistair added through stifled laughs.

Finally their ale arrived, and before the serving girl could leave, the dwarf asked her for another, but she refused, mentioning that he never paid his bill.

“Don’t worry, we’ll cover his bill, miss,” Gilliriel assured.

“Ha ha! My kind of girl!” the dwarf grinned.

“You’re gonna regret that, Grey Warden. This one drinks until he passes out,” the serving girl warned Gilliriel.

She smiled down at the dwarf sitting next to her then decided, “Tonight, we’ll all drink until we pass out drunk!” She looked back up to the dwarven serving girl, “Would you bring us another round?”

“Well, alright then,” with that, the serving girl was back behind the bar filling their order along with others.

Each of the companions took a stein and raised it, “To Orzammar, the Grey Wardens, and,” Gilliriel looked to Leliana who blushed, “to beautiful women.”

“I’ll toast to that, sister!” the dwarf agreed.

The five of them drank their ale as fast as they possibly could in response to Gilliriel’s toast. 

“The name’s Oghren, by the way. I take it you’re the Grey Wardens?”

“Nice to meet you Oghren. Yes, I’m Gilliriel and that’s Alistair,” she pointed to Alistair who raised his hand in a short wave, then gestured to her other friends, “these are my travelling companions, Leliana and Zevran.” 

“Uh huh, I’m sure you two are more than ‘travelling companions,’” Oghren observed bluntly, referring to Leliana and Gilliriel.

“How did you know?” Leliana asked, giggling and blushing.

“Are you kidding? I can tell who’s ramming who just by looking at them!”

Gilliriel chuckled, only slightly embarrassed, “You know what, Oghren, you’re alright!”


	2. Sexually Frustrated Teenagers

Laughter filled the air around the five companions, “And then he told me, ‘for an Antivan man, you’re very tight’ can you believe that!” Oghren let out a belly laugh, Gilliriel, Leliana, and Alistair laughing even harder once Zevran finished his story. Zevran sat in the corner seat proud of himself for telling such a funny story. The ale kept flowing and the stories still coming.

“You know, I’ve never thought of men like that,” Alistair thought out loud, wiping away a tear shed due to his intense laughter.

“Well, it’s never too late, Alistair,” Zevran replied, flirting with him.

“You two should kiss!” Oghren shouted. In fact, he was so loud, other patrons of the tavern glanced in the direction of their table, but the group paid them no mind.

Alistair shifted somewhat uncomfortably, yet surprisingly he was more nervous than uncomfortable, his face had turned scarlet from blushing so profusely, “Well I don’t know, I’m not sure. It’s just that I’ve never… kissed anyone before… and -”

“Are you nervous that you kiss like a mabari?” Gilliriel teased.

“Oh ha ha. Very funny,” Alistair’s mood changed, he was determined to show them he wasn’t a silly little schoolboy, “Yeah, right, you know what, pucker up, Zevran.”

“I was way ahead you sweetheart,” Zevran replied, closing the gap between their lips.

Oghren, Leliana, and Gilliriel cheered and hollered as soon as Alistair’s and Zevran’s lips met. They couldn’t believe their eyes! They never thought they could get Alistair drunk enough to where he would start questioning his sexuality! In confidentiality, Zevran told Gilliriel that he was secretly crazy for Alistair and in this moment she was happy for Zevran through her drunken haze.

“Maker’s breath, do I see a slip of tongue!” surprised, Leliana noticed that both men were really enjoying their make out session.

“I think I’ll see a slip of tongue tonight, how about it Lily?” Gilliriel remarked slyly, while the corners of Leliana’s mouth curved up in a clever smile and her hand slid into Gilliriel’s trousers.

Zevran smirked mischievously, still locking lips (and tongue) with Alistair. Alistair noticed Zevran smile and consequently pulled away from Zevran’s lips, reinstating the gap between them.

“What?” Alistair asked suspiciously.

“Oh nothing, it’s just that our tongues were intertwined. Willingly, I might add,” Zevran’s devious smirk was still painted across his face.

Alistair was at a loss for words. One could tell that his mind was a mess over trying to figure out what just happened and what it means to him. He was definitely questioning his sexual orientation now.

“Wow, nice work, Zev. It’s rare that he can’t think of anything witty to say and I think, I almost enjoy seeing him like this,” Gilliriel commented.

“Ah, it was a pleasure, darling,” Zevran winked at Gilliriel.

“So how do you feel, Alistair? Do you prefer men now?” Leliana chimed in, one hand on her stein, another under the table in Gilliriel’s pants.

“I’m not sure what I prefer. I’m so confused,” he turned to Zevran, “you want to do that again?”

“Hmm, yes, I see, what does that dagger in your pants say?” Zevran looked Alistair dead in the  
eyes.

“Oh, fuck. Maker, take me,” Alistair cursed as he went in for another kiss, which Zevran kindly obliged.

Seemingly out of the blue to the others, Gilliriel gasped and exclaimed, “Lily!” as she grasped Leliana’s arm, the hand on the end of which was still in her pants.

“Do you want me to keep going?” Leliana asked.

“Yes, but I want to get a room.”

“Heh, you two can use my room upstairs, room three, it’s on the left,” Oghren offered.

“You have my thanks. We’ll be back,” Gilliriel said quickly, grateful Oghren had joined them earlier.

“No you won’t. But that’s okay, take your time!”

By that point Zevran was sitting on Alistair’s lap, kissing and grinding on him. He pulled away from Alistair for a moment to ask Oghren, “May we?”

“Well, I only have the one room, but if you’re fine with sharing the bed with the ladies, it’s fine by me!”

“I don’t mind sharing beds with ladies,” Zevran commented cunningly.

“Wait, I don’t get a say in this?” Alistair asked Zevran, suddenly startled as to where this would be going.

“Let’s just go up there and see how we feel then, okay?”

“Alright,” Alistair followed Zevran upstairs like a little lost puppy.

Oghren chuckled to himself, “Well, at least I don’t have to pay for drinks!”


	3. SEX!!!!

Gilliriel and Leliana only had their undergarments left on when Zevran entered the room with Alistair in tow, “Hello, ladies, we’re joining you.”

“Oooo, a foursome? The most I’ve had was two others at once,”Leliana reflected.

Gilliriel sat up, straddling Leliana, “Really? I would never have pinpointed you for a girl who likes sex with multiple people at once.”

“Oh? Well, there’s a lot you don’t know about me.”

“Secretive, huh?” Gilliriel planted a few kisses on Leliana’s face then gently bit her ear.

“So shall we?” Zevran asked.

“I’m fine with it,” Gilliriel agreed, “Although, I do have one stipulation, I don’t want any cocks near me,” Gilliriel informed them.

“Awh, it sounds like you don’t like me,” Zevran teased, “Alistair?”

“Uhhh, I… well... yes?”

“Ahh, that’s what I wanted to hear!” Zevran replied excitedly, “Is there anyone else with difficult rules,” he glanced at Gilliriel and she rolled her eyes in response.

“I’m game for anything. Also, I like it rough. Gilliriel knows this,” Leliana notified.

Zevran turned to Alistair, “I… um, yeah, I uhh… can we try it? You know… anal?”

“I thought you would never ask,” Zevran was absolutely thrilled.

“Hey, champ, go easy on Ali. He’s delicate,” Gilliriel advised as Leliana finger-fucked her.

“Understood. Now, Alistair, this won’t be quick and it won’t be easy at first, but let me tell you, it   
feels like the gods are blessing you through the arsehole at every inch.”

“What?” Alistair was alarmed at this description.

“It’s fine, I’ll handle you like I would a baby bird,” Zevran began taking off his clothes.

“Yeah? You mean strangle it as it dies slowly?”

Gilliriel let out a strange sound that was halfway between a laugh and a pleasured moan while Leliana giggled. Zevran kissed Alistair again in an attempt to calm him down, though the attempt failed. He could tell that Alistair was more anxious than he had been now.

“Listen, Alistair, lay down, just relax. It’s better if you relax,” Zevran coaxed Alistair on the edge of the bed near Gilliriel and Leliana. Zevran turned Alistair onto his back gently, pulled down his pants in a swift motion, then placed one hand on Alistair’s back and the other on his own cock. He traced circles on Alistair’s back as he slowly guided his dick into Alistair’s asshole. “Now Ali, we don’t have any lube on hand, so I’m gonna use my saliva.”

“Okay, fine,” Alistair strained at the insertion of Zevran’s cock into him.

Zevran spat onto Alistair’s ass and began pumping his member in and out of the grey warden. Meanwhile, Gilliriel climaxed, kissing Leliana roughly as she moaned. She pushed Leliana over forcefully and went down on her, eating her out. Gilliriel moaned and tongued Leliana’s clit mercilessly as Leliana pulled her hair.

“Oh fuck me, Maker!” Leliana exclaimed just as Alistair began moaning louder.

At this point, everyone in the room was moaning, Zevran included. The harmony of pleasured sounds that escaped their lips could be heard throughout Tapster’s Tavern, though frankly none of those involved gave a damn. They were all heavily intoxicated and incredibly horny, so naturally they didn’t care who heard them. Wynne could’ve been in the Tavern and they still wouldn’t give a fuck even though they tried being quiet when they fucked back at camp because of the grandmotherly mage.

“Alistair… fuck, I… can I cum inside?” Zevran asked breathlessly between moans.

“Ah! Yeah, fuck yes,” Alistair replied, bucking his hips against Zevran’s friction.

Getting the go-ahead, Zevran climaxed, ejaculating inside Alistair. He collapsed on top of Alistair, catching his breath as he slid his cock out of him.

“Zevran, please, I’m so close,” Alistair begged, his own cock erect and ready to blow.

“Sit on the bed,” Zevran commanded, getting on his knees on the floor. Alistair followed the orders given to him, waiting intently for Zevran’s next move. Zevran didn’t waste time in giving Alistair a blow job that was quick enough just to push him over the edge. He took Alistair’s dick out of his mouth just as he came, giving himself a nice face full of cum. At the same time, Leliana climaxed as well, screaming Gilliriel’s name. Laying on the bed perpendicular from one another, Leliana and Alistair high-fived each other, laughing breathlessly.

“Holy fuckin’ shit, if you could only see your face, Zev. You have Alistair’s cum everywhere,” Gilliriel cackled drunkenly.

Zevran chuckled, “And you have Leliana’s cum dripping from your mouth.”

Leliana sat up and glimpsed at Gilliriel then laughed, “You do!” She surprised the elven woman with a rough, inebriated kiss.

“Well this has been fun and all, but it hasn’t really been a true foursome…” Zevran started.

Leliana sat up attentively, “Any ideas? We could get into some complex positions if we wanted to.”

Zevran thought for a moment then continued, “Okay, you two,” Zevran pointed at Leliana and Gilliriel with his index and pinky fingers, “Assume the sixty-nine position. Lily, would rather give me or Alistair a blow job?”

“I honestly don’t care. Either?” Leliana responded.

“Alright, you’ll give Ali a blow job. I’m gonna give you anal. Is everyone cool with that?”

“Solid plan, boss,” Gilliriel laughed, obviously hammered.

Leliana and Alistair nodded their heads in affirmation. Leliana repositioned Gilliriel to lay across the bed, then climbed on top of her, beginning by rubbing her clit. Zevran helped Alistair on his feet and he stood in front of Leliana with a leg up on the bed as she started to suck his dick. Zevran positioned himself above Leliana, then guided his cock into her ass as Gilliriel began to eat her out again while massaging her clit. They started fucking each other like a well oiled-machine; Zevran pumped in and out of Leliana’s ass, Leliana sucked Alistair’s dick, and Gilliriel and Leliana fingered and licked each other. Sexual pleasure was brought rapidly to all parties involved. Alistair cummed first, groaning as he ejaculated on Leliana’s back. Then Zevran climaxed, cumming inside of Leliana. He hopped off the bed as the two women continued fucking each other and kissed Alistair roughly.

“I need a few minutes before another go,” Alistair informed Zevran

Zevran kissed Alistair again briefly, “I know. I do too.”

The two men stood in a gentle embrace as Leliana and Gilliriel finished each other off.

“Ahh fuck!” Gilliriel shouted as she climaxed and ejaculated simultaneously. A few moments later, Leliana climaxed as well, falling over onto the bed next to her lover. The two women repositioned themselves then spooned comfortably on the soft bed, Gilliriel embracing Leliana as the ‘big spoon.’

“Come over and fuckin’ cuddle,” Gilliriel motioned to Zevran and Alistair to join them on the bed. Zevran ran a hand through his hair as Alistair collapsed sloshed and sexually satisfied on the bed. Zevran followed suit, almost immediately falling asleep as his head hit the mattress.


	4. The Morning After

Gilliriel groaned as she awoke from her somewhat peaceful slumber the next morning. Other than having a terrible headache from drinking too much ale, she felt incredibly satisfied, though that seemed like an understatement. She rubbed the sleep out of her almond shaped eyes and took a look at her surroundings. She was lying in a large, wide bed, naked, Leliana asleep, laying on her side next to Gilliriel, also naked as she found the blankets and covers were nearly off the bed and just draped over Leliana’s supple body. Leliana’s arm, opposite Gilliriel was slung over the elf’s tummy. At the end of the bed, Zevran lied on his back, his head facing the foot of the bed and his legs dangling off the side of the bed, a blanket just barely covering his midsection. Alistair lied the same way as Zevran but his whole body was on the very edge of the bed, his head rested on Zevran’s chest. There was no sign of Oghren which surprised her, but she figured he would be passed out under a table downstairs in the bar.

Gilliriel shifted so that she was on her side, nose to nose with Leliana. Leliana stirred in her sleep, hugging Gilliriel closer and smiling.

“You’re awake aren’t you,” Gilliriel asked her.

Leliana nodded slightly and groaned sleepily, her green eyes fluttering open.

“Good morning, sunshine,” she kissed Leliana on her soft lips, Leliana kissed back through her sleepiness.

“Mmm, where are we?” she questioned.

“In Oghren’s room, in the Tapster’s Tavern, in Orzammar.”

“Oghren’s room? How did we get here?”

“We walked, honey.”

Leliana chuckled, “Yes of course,” she looked at the end of the bed, “Andraste’s flaming- is that Zev and Ali?”

“Oh, yeah, they fucked. And I think we fucked them.”

“Really? Did you let them..”

“No, of course not, remember I’m a ‘no cock’ kind of girl.”

“Good. Wait no, did they-”

“From what I remember last night - and mind you it’s a little hazy - but yeah they did.”

“Oh.. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be, you enjoyed it. There are some things I cannot give you and cock is one of those things. But it’s fine, I just want to see you happy, and shit were you.”

“You’re too good for me. I don’t deserve you. Oh, I nearly forgot, were we-”

“What. The. Fuck. Where am I?” Alistair woke up from his daze, finding himself lying all over Zevran. 

“Naughty words are for, naughty boys, Alistair. Oh, but I do remember you using a plethora of profanity last night,” Gilliriel joked, although the last part was completely true.

“What? I don’t remember! And that doesn’t explain why my arse hurts!”

A snicker came from Zevran who they all thought was sleeping. Leliana and Gilliriel started laughing, and Zevran joined in. They laughed hard enough that tears could be seen streaming from their eyes.

Once their laughter died down Alistair looked to Zevran and said, “Please tell me it was consensual.”

“Of course, my friend! I would never fuck anyone without their permission!”

Somehow finding his comment funny the three of them broke out into laughter yet again, Alistair simply lying naked on his back in between Zevran and Gilliriel, trying to remember the events of the previous night.

Suddenly their laughter and Alistair’s thinking was cut short by Oghren bursting through the door. At first they could only see his outline in the darkness of the room, but then they realized he was buck naked. Zevran, Leliana, and Alistair stared, unsure of what to say or do while Gilliriel completely turned around at the sight of Oghren’s large dwarf dick.

“Oghren put that thing away, someone could get seriously hurt with that,” Gilliriel said half jokingly, half seriously.

“The only one who could get hurt is a lesbian with a battleaxe, kid,” Oghren joked, referring to Gilliriel and her weapon of choice.


End file.
